4/28/2009

DANCING WITH THE STARS ELIMINATION NIGHT



Sadly Julianne and her hunky boyfriend got the boot tonight. We are sad to see them go but we really want Tony Dovolani to win this season. Poor Tony has been saddled with the elderly and infirm dance partners long enough. Now if Melissa can just keep it together and show up on dance night...

Chuck was really improving and so awfully hunky. But, this season the competition is really tight. So far America has gotten it right and kicked off the right dancers.

Here is our favorite of Julianne and Chuck :The Samba



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AMERICAN IDOL: ADAM LAMBERT



OMG! did you guys see AI tonight? They were all just fantastic! But Adam Lambert just killed. For once I loved the music/song styles and the arrangements were great on all of the performances.

But gotta say ADAM all the way. He has it all wrapped up.

Here is a great bio video on Adam



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4/27/2009

Welcome to our new fabulous blogger home!




Thank you Angelika for the lovely high 5 on your blog! We had just
finished moving all of the 200 posts over to blogger from the
dreaded quickblogcast platform.

That program was so hard to use and limited in design options. I brought over all the most popular posts as we just didn't have the strength to move them all over here.

We just love blogger and already our numbers have tripled! Coincidence? We think NOT.... Anyhoo we are developing a new look and colors too. We are very happy to have google followers so please follow the snarkies and we'll follow you too.

Comments are so much more fun to interact with here too. So stay tuned Snarky is going into overdrive....


Ciao darlings and have a great Monday....

Babs

4/25/2009

SNARKY PORTA-POTTY IN HOUSTON



This lady is getting ready to enter the all glass porta-potty.
This picture was taken in Houston TX. Now that you've seen the
outside view, take a look at the inside view...

It's made entirely of one-way glass! No one can see you from the outside, but when you are inside it's like sitting in a clear glass box!

Now would you... could you....???



Bathroom painted floor!!!

Imagine you are at a party, tenth floor of a high-rise building.....
Then you have to visit the bathroom.... You open the door...
Now, remember this is just a painted floor !

Kind of gives you a dose of vertigo….



4/23/2009

Important Message About Growing Old



Crap I Forgot What I was going to tell you

SNARKY SATURDAY PICS




THE HUMAN BODY



It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.


One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).


The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.


Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.


A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.


There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.


Women blink twice as often as men.


The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.


Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.


If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.


Women reading this will be finished now.


Men are still busy checking their thumbs.

SNARKY AND BIZARRE CREATURES


DUMBO OCTOPUS


ALPACA


ANGORA RABBIT


AXOLOTI


AYE AYE


BLOB FISH


EMPEROR TAMARIN


FRILL NECKED LIZARD


KOMONDOR DOG


PINK FAIRY ARMADILLO


PROBOSCIS MONKEY

'
PYGMY MARMOSET


SUCKER FOOTED BAT


SUN BEAR


WHITE FACED SAKI MONKEY


YETI CRAB


LEFT WINGED MORON

SNARKY WEDDING DANCERS



More and more we are seeing bridal parties departing from

classic styles of weddings. We are seeing some truly snarky

behavior at these events.


We likee! Here are 2 of our very favorites, stick with them...

they get really funny







We think this new behavior can all be directly reflected by the extreme
viewing of the following film....

ELLEN DEGENERES: BATHROOM CONCERT




We were watching Ellen's show from Friday on our lovely DVR. OMG she showed a
clip of her Bathroom Concert with Jennifer Hudson... We almost spewed our latte on
our fabulous flat screen! We just love Ellen and her total lack of propriety on every
level...

The full clip will be on her show Monday don't miss it!

You know Ellen wasn't that bad....





Ciao Darlings

DANCING WITH THE STARS SEASON 8 WEEK 3


Photo: copyright Kelsey McNeal, American Broadcasting Companies, Inc)



People just don’t like Denise Richards (WE LOATHE HER) following her bitter 2006 divorce from PSYCHO Charlie Sheen? (Charlie HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT) HE IS A MISOGYNOUS FREAK

Could it be possible that this chick just has no talent whatsoever? OMG Cloris Leachman was better than this "dancer".

2 Weeks in a row America and the judges got it right. Denise was making us ill. did ya notice how she craned that bird neck at the camera no matter where they were on the dance floor.... GROAN Why did she do that ????

Whew! We are relieved to not have to watch that drama queen again

We are sad tha Maks got saddled with her and it looked like he was annoyed most of the time.

We are overjoyed that Tony is so happy with a great partner for once. THIS IS TONY'S SEASON TO WIN!



CIAO DARLINGS!

GOOD COP BABY COP



PEARL IS BACK! WE LOVE THIS LITTLE GIRL THE MOST!




CLASSIC PEARL VIDEO


CHRIS ISAAK/MICHAEL BUBLE




The Snarkies are totally thrilled with the new Chris Isaak Hour Thursday
nights on the Biography Channel. The first few shows have been really good.

Trisha Yearwood, Stevie Nicks, and Glen Campbell were great but the show
this past Thursday was with Michael Buble. sigh.... 2 of our most favorite male
singers together for an entire hour! Michael could sing the phone book and
make it great. It was more than evident that both guys like each other and had
a fun time doing the show.

It is really nice to have Chris spend the hour talking about music and playing with other stars. He was particularly kind to Glen Campbell. Glen still sounds good but darlings...what did he do to his face? It would have been better if he just looked his age.

Oh well enough of that here is our two gorgeous men of the week.


Dancing With the Stars Boots off Carlisle



Well DWTS got it right this time and kicked off the sour puss of the season.
Good! We want happy people and Ms Carlisle had a sour attitude from the
beginning. Why bother showing up if you think you are "above" this show?

Evidently Ms Carlisle was surpirised at the negative response she got from
the judges. She looked very angry when they dissed her dance. OY

She really didn't have any factors that might save her, her appearance was poor,
her dancing poor, and her attitude was poor. Ciao darling...



From ABC


Belinda Carlisle had to go-go home March 17, 2009, making her the first contestant to
be eliminated from Season 8 of "Dancing With the Stars." Carlisle, the former lead singer
of the group the Go-Go's, and dancing partner Jonathan Roberts were eliminated as the l
owest-scoring couple, after debuting their salsa performance March 16, 2009. This season
features the show's first-ever dance-off, in which the two lowest-scoring dance teams can
perform their dances over again in final hopes of staying on the show. Apple co-founder
Steve Wozniak and partner Karina Smirnoff were the second-lowest scoring dance duet.
"I had a great time," Carlisle said of her time on the show. "I learned how to dance and I wish
I could have done better for Jonathan, because he's a great teacher."




For you go go fans here is Ms. C during a better decade:




CLUELESS SATURDAY AWARD



DANCING WITH THE STARS SEASON 8 EPISODE 1




* Belinda Carlisle, lead singer of the Go-Go's and solo artist.
Groan not very good she must have lost her GO GO's

* David Alan Grier, actor-comedian and host of Comedy Central's Chocolate News.
Not too bad but be funny or don't not both

* Holly Madison star of Girls Next Door Playboy bunny show.
She was beautiful and pretty good but will the DWTS curse of the prettiest ones
getting the boot early on going to happen to Holly???

* Shawn Johnson, 17-year-old Olympic gold and silver-medal-winning gymnast.
She was fabulous but isn't kind of cheating to put a gymnast against normal people???

* Lil' Kim, Grammy Award-winning rapper. OUR PICK TO WIN
She was very hot but dedicating her to the girls in GEN POP was too over the top... groan

* Gilles Marini, actor who played Dante in the Sex and the City movie.
OMG THIS GUY IS HOT HOT HOT We hope he makes to the finals....... sigh

* Ty Murray, rodeo star and husband of Jewel.
Will he be able to let go and look stupid in front of millions? He looked pretty
bad last Monday!

* Steve-O, Jackass star.
Surprisingly compelling to watch him. He may just surprise everyone.

* Melissa from the BACHELOR,
She was verrrrry good she may be in the finals


* Denise Richards, actress, reality TV star and ex-wife of CHARLIE SHEEN.
We still hope they vote her whiney butt off this show first. Charlie's Revenge...

* Lawrence Taylor, ex-New York Giants football player and Hall of Famer.
Terrible Terrible Terrible Terrible Terrible Terrible Terrible Terrible Terrible

* Chuck Wicks, county singer and boyfriend of former DWTS champ Julianne
Pretty good and we all know Julianne will whip him into perfect shpae quickly

* Steve Wozniak, co-founder of Apple computers.
See * Lawrence Taylor review

What happened to part two where they kick the first one off??? We must have
missed out on that announcement. annoyed we are.... waiting a week for DWTS!

Our favorite DANCE of last MONDAY

Melissa is partnered with our much beloved Tony Dovolani. Finally they have
given him a young athletic partner to work with. We would cheer if Mr. Tony would
go all the way.

Melissa really showed that LOSER BACHELOR JERK
what he missed.... What a way to make a comeback honey!


DANCING WITH THE (SNARKIES) STARS SEASON 8



TVGUIDE ON DWTS

YAY THE SNARKIES ARE READY FOR THE 8TH SEASON!

Dusting off our Ruby Slippers and Sequins. This year's line up looks promising and we will
give your our OFFICIAL SNARKY PICKS right now:


Here's a rundown of Dancing with the Stars' eighth-season celebrity cast, in alphabetical order:

* Belinda Carlisle, lead singer of the Go-Go's and solo artist. IN OUR TOP 5

* David Alan Grier, actor-comedian and host of Comedy Central's Chocolate News. LOL FUNNY BUT CAN HE MOVE

* Jewel, country singer and wife of rodeo star Ty Murray. IN OUR TOP 5

* Shawn Johnson, 17-year-old Olympic gold and silver-medal-winning gymnast. OF COURSE

* Lil' Kim, Grammy Award-winning rapper. OUR PICK TO WIN

* Gilles Marini, actor who played Dante in the Sex and the City movie. WHO??

* Ty Murray, rodeo star and husband of Jewel. CUTE BUT A LITTLE STIFF?

* Steve-O, Jackass star. OH NO WAY!!

* Nancy O'Dell, Access Hollywood host. MAYBE A SURPRISE STAND OUT IN OUR TOP 5

* Denise Richards, actress, reality TV star and ex-wife of CHARLIE SHEEN. YUCK WE HOPE THEY KICK HER OFF FIRST

* Lawrence Taylor, ex-New York Giants football player and Hall of Famer. DON'T THINK SO...

* Chuck Wicks, county singer and boyfriend of former DWTS champ Julianne Hough. IN OUR TOP 5

* Steve Wozniak, co-founder of Apple computers. NOT A CHANCE




HIS WIFE CAN'T STOP LAUGHING




Here is something we fell on the floor after reading we almost dinged up our nail polish!

Enjoy dear readers:

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry 's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Darla .

What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL !

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that what I really needed was to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) (I didn't do it) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.. .?

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . .

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again.

I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative?

IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.

The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

GOODBYE DENNY CRANE....



It is with great Snarky sadness that we bid adieu to the Snarkiest man on televison!
Denny Crane.

The show Boston Legal just kept getting more and more lame and with so many cast
changes we all lost interest. There was too much Alan Shore and not enough
DENNY CRANE.

We loved his political incorrectness, his poposity, he tenderness and his swagger.
We will not likely see such a man on television again.

Here is a great clip of Denny in action:


YOUR VACATION PLANNER 2009



This is FABULOUS SO CLICK HERE