This is hysterical but too damn true....
5/03/2010
5/02/2010
MOVING TO MEXICO
Dear President Obama:
I'm planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.
We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. Into Mexico, and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.
We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws.
I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on my way over?
Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. Please print all Mexican government forms in English.
4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.
5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my grandkids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico , but, I don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. Flag from my house top, put U S. Flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.
14. I want to receive free food stamps.
15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.
16. I'll need Income tax credits so although I don't pay Mexican Taxes, I'll receive money from the government.
17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Gov't pays $4,500 to help me buy a new car.
18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in retirement.
I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who walk over to the U..S. From Mexico . I am sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely..
Thank you so much for your kind help. You're the man!!!
4/10/2010
MUNCHKIN CORONER RIP
Meinhardt Raabe Judy Garland
ORANGE PARK, Fla. – Meinhardt Raabe (MYN' hahrt RAH' bee), who played the Munchkin coroner in "The Wizard of Oz," has died.
His caregiver, Cindy Bosnyak, said Raabe died Friday morning at a hospital in Orange Park, Fla. He was 94 and was one of the few surviving Munchkins from the 1939 film.
Bosnyak said he complained of a sore throat at his retirement community before collapsing.
Raabe was a veteran "midget" performer, as little people were then known, when the film was made. He was the official who pronounces the Wicked Witch "really most sincerely dead."
In a 1988 Associated Press interview, he said he had no idea the movie would become a classic, because at the time of its release, it was overshadowed by "Gone With the Wind."
RIP MALCOLM MCLAREN
Malcolm McLaren first came to prominence as the notorious manager of the Sex Pistols
4/08/2010
THEY SHOOT HORSES DON'T THEY?
Of course the Snarkies are HUGE Princess Diana fans... we still feel a wee bit o sympathy for poor Camilla and her broken (hoof) oops leg. We hope she heals in a speedy fashion...
Speaking of fashion.... We just had to add some....
Full Story:
Prince Charles' Wife Breaks Leg While Hill Walking
(Sky News) - Prince Charles' wife Camilla remains upbeat despite breaking her leg in a fall -- telling aides: "It could be worse", Sky News reported Thursday.
The Duchess of Cornwall suffered a twisted fracture of her left fibula when she slipped while hill walking in Scotland
But a spokesperson for the Royal Family said Camilla was unfazed by the injury she suffered during Wednesday's fall, adding: "The Duchess is cheerful and it's a case of 'Life goes on — it could be worse.'"
Camilla, 62, was on her traditional Easter break at Birkhall, Prince Charles' private home on the Queen's Balmoral estate, when the accident happened.
After the slip the Duchess needed some help getting down from the hill.
After resting up overnight she had an x-ray which revealed the extent of the problem.
Doctors have advised Camilla not to put any weight on her leg and she will have to wear a cast for six weeks.
However the Duchess has told aides she intends to carry out all her official engagements, which are scheduled for the end of the month.
The Royal spokesperson added: "While hill-walking in slippery conditions in Scotland, the Duchess of Cornwall took a tumble and hurt her leg.
"Today, following doctor's advice, her royal highness had an x-ray which showed a twisted fracture of the fibula.
"Consequently her royal highness is wearing a plaster cast and will be for six weeks."
4/04/2010
4/02/2010
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