Snarky Politics! The Economic Stimulus Payment

This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment.

This is a very exciting new program that we will explain using
the Q and A format:

"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal government will
send to taxpayers.

"Q. Where will the government get this money?
"A. From taxpayers.

"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
"A. Only a smidgen.

"Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
"A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase an HD TV set, thus
stimulating the economy.

"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
"A. Shut up."

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer it will go to India.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico,
Honduras, and Guatemala
(unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan.
If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.
And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America.
You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a
baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic
ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.


Kelly said...

You speaketh the truth with much humor. What part of America Japan hasn't bought out, China has. I try not to go to Wal-Mart, but unfortunately, they run the monopoly in this small town. It's either go to Wally World or drive 30 miles to the nearest mall.

I plan on spending my money on cross-eyed midget strippers. They're the best!

Betty said...

I'd spend it on, macaroni. That I would decorate. Then wear. maybe I'd make it. So I'd spend it on flour to make the macaroni that I would decorate to wear. I'm off my rocker. Ignore me!

The Snarky View said...

hey, nice site! i'm kinda a newbie in this blogging stuff so i'll appreciate it if you drop by my site and/or leave a comment. i really enjoyed reading your posts. ;-)

i can also have your blog URL linked to my site is you want so to increase your blog traffic.

thanks! keep it up!

Euro Yank said...

American has been getting most of its money (capital) from China, Japan, and Europe. Its foreign investments in American debt that has allowed the USA to run its record deficits even after the government raids social security. Its a good thing Bush did not get his way and put social security in the stock market. Soon 76 million baby boomers will retire, and most already lost their pension plans in the stock market crash. The USA has caused a WORLD DEPRESSION with this last subprime scam. Now its time to pay the piper! The few economic stimulus dollars is only a drop in the ocean!

Me Me said...

I have been boycotting WalMart for years - even the 'Ol Roy dog food is made in China.

The Snarky View said...

Snarkies wouldn't be caught dead in a Walmart!

Brian said...

Do they have prostitutes at the baseball games these days? Trying to really help out.